Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Body of Christ For Your Next Dinner Party?


Eucharist Bread

4 cups whole-wheat flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
4 tablespoons brown sugar
½ cup honey or molasses (or a ¼ cup of each)
½ cup oil
¾ cup milk
¾ warm water

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix the dry ingredients. In a separate large bowl, mix together honey (and molasses), oil, milk and warm water. Add the dry ingredients one cup at a time to avoid lumping. Knead for 1 minute using more whole-wheat flour until the dough is not sticky. Roll into ½ inch thickness and cut into 2"-5" circles (depending on your need). Score the top of one side in quarters (don't be too shy because the lightly scored disappears in the baking process).

Bake for 5 minutes on each side. Cool completely before storing in plastic bags. It is better to be slightly under-cooked instead of over-cooked because it will not crumble for those who intinct.


www.sttims.org

Like a Black Hole, or Kids with Cancer... It Just Makes No Sense

Does anyone know about this magical Walden Farms? I was in Rittenhouse Market the other day and there I happened to notice three flavors of: Walden Farms Calorie Free Veggie Dips in 'Bacon', 'French Onion', and 'Ranch'.



On the label they claim to be calorie free, fat free, carb free, gluten free, AND sugar free... AND (not that they're yogic or anything) the ingredient list isn't going to give you heart palpitations or require a team of researchers to decipher.



So it's true? There really is a God? Miracles really do happen?

I bet not. I haven't tasted them yet, so I shouldn't go getting all judgemental, but I'd be downright shocked. Something is telling me they probably taste like a cardboard monkey's asshole... but I could be wrong, in which case I'm going to start playing the lottery and trusting my fellow man because, by golly, good things really do happen.

P.S. If your curious check out their website. They appear to have a whole line of equally as unimaginably calorie-free products, including chocolate syrup and "whipped peanut spread"... Waaaa happpaaannn????

http://waldenfarms.com/

Diet Food

Sunday, May 3, 2009

French Laundry


I'm finally going to make it... 42 Days and counting.  I WILL be breaking my current pescatarian status for this.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

What the Hell Is It?



Well, first of all, it was invented in the 1970's, which tells us a lot right there.  Secondly, it is described as a "blend of various texturing ingredients, flavorings and colorants."  Mmm!  

The primary ingredient is surimi... which in itself may need an explanation.
Cutesy of Wikipedia -

Surimi (Japanese. lit "ground meat")... a Japanese word referring to a food product  intended to mimick the meat of lobster, crab, and other shellfish.  It is typically made from white-fleshed fish (such as pollock or hake) that has been pulverized to a paste and attains a rubbery texture when cooked.

Meat from lean fish or land animals is separated and then minced numerous times to eliminate undesirable odors.  The result is beaten and pulverized to form a gelatinous paste.  


Right.  So we gots the seafood paste.  Now what do we do with it?  Make it into a crab leg maybe???

... The most common surimi product in the Western market is imitation or artificial crab legs... sold as krab in America...

[It was developed to] process the increased catch of fish, revitalize Japan's fish industry, and to make use of what was preciously considered "fodder fish".

A typical ingredient list looks like this:
Pollock, water, egg-whites, cornstarch, wheat starch, natural and artificial flavor (natural flavors include but aren't limited to amino acids and proteins obtained through aqueous extraction, and there are artificial flavoring compounds like esters, ketones, nucleotides, and monosodium glutamate, etc.), less then 2% snow crabmeat, soybean oil, mirin, potato starch, salt, sugar, soy protein isolate, monosodium glutamate, sorbitol, sodium tripolyphosphate.

"Prior to freezing cryoprotectant materials such as sugar and sorbitol are added to prevent degradation of the gel-forming properties of surimi.  Starch & egg whites are added to improve the texture, color and to stabilize the gel matrix".  

Oh, and the color.  That typically comes from water insoluble compounds like carmine, caramel, paprika and annato extracts which are mixed and then applied to the crab meat bundles... in order words, big weird bundles of the shit are painted with chemicals to be red... or pink... or orange... or whatever it is. 


Sigh.  Another great example of modern food production in action.  Wow.

I have a friend who buys it cold and enjoys right out of the bag.  I have expressed my lack of support for this practice and she has told me to shove it up my ass and that she doesn't want to hear any more of my holier-then-tho preachy bullshit. We agree to disagree.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Prepare To Be Horrified


For the bride that wants a truly unique wedding...

Babette's Feast


This is an incredible food movie... we watch it each year on Thanksgiving.