Those Dean & DeLuca Guys are Good

I just got the new Dean & DeLuca catalog in the mail and it's blowing my mind right now.

Of course there are your staples...

• The ever-present $225 ugly fondant cake that looks like it would taste like waxy plastic sugar-paste-vom.

• The glorious selection of wine that I can't buy via mail because I live in Old-Timey-Village.com (I mean in Pennsylvania).

• The flight of caviar that costs $655 (total of 6 oz.).

• The $400 leg of Prosciutto di Parma (online a leg of Ibérico ham is a bargain at only $2,000!).

Sigh... I joyously flipped past these items assured in the knowledge that the stars were aligned, the appropriate items were appropriately overpriced, and that there are people out there who are more bat shit crazy then I... ones who were willing to spend $65 on "Fall Cupcakes" (... wtf???).

There were some noteworthy gems though:

For example, please reference Page 9 for the mailorder - Lobster Rolls



Wow. $135. For hot dog rolls and old-ass lobster slathered in mayo.

Mmm... (only if "Mmm" can be said with heavily sarcastic undertones).


Also on Page 9... my heart skipped a beat when I found the - Foie Gras Burger




Holy smokes. $60 for four burgers yes but, all kidding aside, I might kill a man for one. $60 is a small place to pay when compared to life in prison.

GEE-OOOOD that sounds good.

... And then there's the crème de la crème on Page 54. I nearly wet myself when I saw- The Ultimate Chocolate Truffle



Here is where I'm supposed to make fun of it... so ridiculous... so expensive... blah, blah, blah... but I don't want to. I want to eat it. I want to eat it all, not only in one sitting, but in one bite. Crap, shit... ARGH!!! I want it so bad.

I think I'm going to order one... and then after that I'm going to time how long it takes me to burn 350 one dollar bills. Yay. It'll be fun.