Monday, January 26, 2009

Ode to WaWa

I love Wawa.

Maybe it's wrong but it feels so right.  

There are just so many fresh fruits and vegetables everywhere, and you can make your own salads or sandwiches, and there is plenty of club soda, and there are lots granola bars, and the stores are always big so I don't get claustrophobic, and no one who works there is ever good looking so I don't feel intimidated, and the bathrooms usually aren't covered in fecal matter, and if you wanted to kill yourself there are plenty of donuts and cheese filled soft pretzels on which to do so.  That's what I call one stop shopping.

Maybe instead of holding on to my dream of opening a food cart I will open a traveling Wawa. How amazing would that be?... not for you, for me.  I would get to be surrounded by the cushy womb of Wawa everywhere I went.  It would be a glorious existence. Sigh.

Heartbreakingly, I just learned from Wawa's website that they don't franchise. DAMN! 

It was a crushing blow, although I did discover a few interesting Wawa factoids: 

Factoid #1. The company was originally a home delivery dairy service until the first Wawa market opened in 1960.  (Oww... Milk men!  What an old-timey job. I may have to add that to my list of jobs-to-have-before-I-die, right along side of
Drawbridge Tender, Phone Psychic, and Jelly Donut Filler).

Factoid #2. All dairy products available at Wawa are artificial growth hormone free (Strange that we need to be congratulating anyone for that but, Yay).

Factoid #3. As for the name... apparently the company's original dairy was built in Wawa, PA., which itself was named after the local Lenni Lenape Indian tribe's word for the Canadian geese found in the Delaware Valley.

Factoid #4. In 1995 Wawa begins offering ATMs with no service fee (One of the many reasons I could kiss them on the mouth).

Factoid #5. Wondering how many calories are in your Classic Italian Shortie with extra mayo, pickles, and provolone cheese?  Visit the Wawa NetNutrition calculator online and all the caloric information you desire will be yours.

Oh and elsewhere I discovered that Johnny Knoxville has a Wawa tattoo:

Huh.  Who'd a thunk it?

So, anyway... To summerize my ode to Wawa: Oh Wawa, I hath seen such beauty only in thee heart of spring.  If only I could wrap your tender bosom into the shape of a food cart and carry thee gently about... only then would thine heart be at peace.

So romantic. If I had a Valentine I might get them a Wawa gift card.

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