Monday, January 19, 2009

They're Not ALL Pithy

I was recently having a conversation with a friend.  We were happily talking about our favorite fruits when all of a sudden, completely out of the blue, she sideswiped me with the "fact" that she did not like oranges.  

I was taken aback, and greatly disturbed, but I waved her off and decided that she had been momentarily touched by the crazies. 

I just wanted to pretend that it had never happened but she kept insisting and her apparent contentment to continue living a life without the orange blew my mind.  

It was like she had just lay down and accepted it.  At first I angrily told her that she should just start wearing sweatpants and eating pie for breakfast because, in my opinion, she had basically already given up on life... 

BUT I couldn't.  I couldn't know what I knew and live with a clean conscious.  Hers was a fate too severe for any human to bear... and frankly I just didn't believe her.    

I asked what it was about the orange that she didn't like... was it the taste? the zest? the pulp? the pith?  

Through some (not so extensive) deduction we determined that her dislike did in fact stem (pun intended) from the pith.  

When "eating" an orange she (like many other with the same affliction) would suck the juice out and discard the pith.  

It was all very heartbreaking.  After a long cry, a handle of cheap wine, and a half a bottle of aspirin I ran (OK.  I walked.  Slowly.  While holding my head.) to the store for some emergency supplies.  I needed to change this crazy bitch's ways.

I bought what I know to be the most tender, juicy and pith-free orange I could find... the Satsuma (also known as Mikan).  

I knew if they couldn't change her mind, nothing could.  To make a long story short... She loved them, and now I can rest easy knowing that there is one less hater walking this earth.

So, I would encourage any of you who know an orange hater to have an Satsuma intervention. Trust me. They will thank you for it later.

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