Wednesday, July 30, 2008

We Are SO Breaking Up

My Dearest Distrito,

Last night when I came over I was wondering whether or not we were going to make it work.

I mean, I prepared myself for the worst but I was willing to get over all of the bullshit. I was going to forget about your juvenile appearance, your hot dog attitude, and the way you flaunt your trust fund insisting on surrounding yourself with big flashy theatrical things.

It wasn't looking good when you crammed more chairs in the first floor then one human could possibly imagine, or when your waiter didn't know what a "Kettle and Soda" was, but I didn't hold that against you.

I was even going to ignore the fact that you totally single-white-female the hell out of that biotch El Vez. I EVEN told myself to forget that you have a fucking car inside of you.

When I tasted your food *cough*ElVez*cough* I still had a faint hope that we would make it somehow... someway... But when you served me those two seasonal margaritas - watermelon style - I knew we were through.


FUUUUUCK YOU DISTRITO. We're over. Your shit is on the sidewalk. Lose my number.

Distrito - 3945 Chestnut St Philadelphia, PA 19104

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